Popularity: 2
Vote:   | A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | A new star with a tremendous national appeal, the skill of a consummate showman. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | A railroad station? That was sort of a primitive airport, only you didn't have to take a cab 20 miles out of town to reach it. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | Americans like fat books and thin women. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Disguises thinner than a Chicago stripteaser's work clothes. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | I was converted from fool when my spine was somewhat reorganized. What amazed me was how fast a perfectly robust man looking forward to nothing more terminal than a night in Toledo can cease being alive once he pulls the dreamboat out of the driveway. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with "gourmet" status. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on "canned" laughter grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | Skins tanned to the consistency of well-traveled alligator suitcases. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. |
Popularity: 2
Vote: | The lobbies of the new hotels and the Pan American Building exhale a chill as from the unopened Pharaonic tombs... And in their marble labyrinths there is an evil presence that hates warmth and sunlight. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. |
Popularity: 1
Vote: | When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. |
Popularity: 3
Vote: | You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart. |