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| | Jennifer Aniston |  | When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet roll, you know your life has changed. |
| | Marcel Achard | | When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. |
| | Erma Bombeck | | Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. |
| | Erma Bombeck | | If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. |
| | Lenny Bruce | | The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are - it's "Look at me, Ma!" It's acceptance, you know - "Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma." And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew! |
| | Thomas Campbell | | While memory watches o'er the sad review of joys that faded like the morning dew. |
| | Albert Camus | | An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. |
| | Andrew Carnegie | | Concentrate your energies, your thoughts and your capital. The wise man puts all his eggs in one basket and watches the basket. |
| | Leonard Cohen | | A woman watches her body uneasily, as though it were an unreliable ally in the battle for love. |
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